Celebrating 20 Years of Knowing
I knew it the first moment I heard you play guitar.
I knew it when we played Blind Man’s Bluff on the playground in Chicago and we kept choosing the same hiding spots.
And I knew it when we started showing up at our Bro-Sis table in the SDR at the same time.
I knew that I never wanted to stop getting to know you.
I knew it when I couldn’t study for my final exam, because I was too excited to go out for coffee with you later that night (worst grade ever- thanks for that!)
I knew it when we went to the lighting of the lights parade and later shared a Lou Malnati’s chocolate chip pizza.
I knew it when I asked you and a friend out for breakfast on the day before I flew home to Pennsylvania for Christmas break (realizing that your friend had other plans, but hoping that you would not!).
I knew that I was falling in love with you.
I knew when you called me right after I returned from the break and we talked for 3 hours straight.
I knew when you asked me to drive with you to a doctor’s appointment (completely oblivious to the fact that you wanted me to be available to drive FOR you! sorryaboutthat 🙂 ).
And I knew when you drove me to my cousin’s baby shower and you were willing to play the games- even drinking juice from a baby bottle.
I knew you were falling in love with me too.
I knew before you told me that you liked me that I would say I liked you too. When we had the conversation at Navy Pier about whether or not this meant that we were boyfriend and girlfriend, I knew that I would say of course I will be your girlfriend!
I knew that lightening would strike the first time you kissed me (of course, I thought that would be more of a figurative thing!).
And I knew that saying I love you would be as natural as breathing.
I didn’t know that we would go through a near break up, but what I do know is that I wouldn’t change that part of our story for anything. From the very beginning, you were determined to bring glory to God in our relationship. And that near break up is exactly what I needed to move me from being so enraptured with you to earnestly trusting God with His plans for us.
Because I knew. I knew we were meant to be together, but I had to let go of my own choke hold on our relationship and truly allow God to be the center of it.
I was completely surprised and unprepared for when you proposed to me, but there was no doubt in my mind (or yours!) that I would say yes. Because we knew. We had been through the glorious joy of falling in love and we had walked through the tough waters of nearly parting ways. We knew that our love was more than feelings, that it was based on a commitment first to God and then to each other.
I knew when I wore your sweatshirt and missed you in Montreal and when we traveled to El Salvador together that my life would forever be intertwined with yours.
I knew when we served God together at Timber-lee and later at Bethany that ministry by your side would be one of the greatest gifts in my life.
I knew when I walked down that aisle on my Daddy’s arm that I was the most blessed of women, loved by the most amazing, God honoring men.
I knew when you were so patient with me, so supportive, so generous and so kind that I had made one of the best decisions of my life by marrying you.
I knew when we cried together in the ultrasound room that we would always rejoice and mourn together.
I knew when you learned to swaddle our firstborn and changed every diaper for the first 24 hours of her life that you would be an amazing Daddy and I wouldn’t ever have to worry about that (this is one of your greatest gifts to me!).
I knew when you were misunderstood, criticized and treated poorly in ministry that God would use it for His glory. What I didn’t know is how blessed my life would be because of the wisdom and humility that you gained from those tough times.
I knew when we settled into a rhythm of life with our littles and our ministries and our love that life would be good. I didn’t know that it would keep getting better. But it has.
This I know for sure. A love like ours is worth fighting for. It is worth all of the tears and all of the heartaches. It only grows stronger. It is blessed with incredible joy and abundant friendships. Our lives are full, gloriously full.
Twenty years ago, we didn’t know what life would have in store for us, but I am so thankful we knew enough to choose each other.
Here’s to 20 years of us being us.
Celebrating 20 years of knowing!