Get to Know Your Pastor and His Family~ Way 9

31 WaysBig

Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you, who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work.

1 Thessalonians 5:12,13



I remember as a young girl hearing a friend of mine talking about my Dad, the pastor of our church. He said something like your Dad is always so serious.

It surprised me, because to me, he was my Daddy. The one who played Mad Tagger with his girls. The one who would laugh so hard he would cry when he was reading bulletin bloopers. The one who dumped a cup of ice water on our sun bathing mama, because he thought it would be funny.

Always serious? MY Dad?!!

As an adult, I understand these things better. The ministry of a pastor is very public. There are clear expectations and directives in scripture for how a pastor should conduct his ministry. My Dad DID take these things very seriously and the result was that not many people had the opportunity to see his “fun” side.

Being a pastor can be very isolating.

A friend shared this quote with me recently from the Anne of Green Gables Series and it made me laugh…

“It’s as good as an extra conscience to have a minister’s wife for your friend.” It makes me laugh, but it also strikes me that there is a great deal of truth to this perception. I have had many friends tell me that they felt like they couldn’t get to know their pastors or their wives, because they were afraid of revealing too much of themselves and not being “good enough”.

But they have also confirmed what every pastor and his wife already knows- when they DO get to know them, they discover that the pastor and his family are normal people. People who get frustrated and yell at their children on the way to church. People who struggle with motivation and following through. People who mess up and fail. People who struggle to have a consistent devotion time.

If a pastor is being faithful to his calling, he will be shepherding and loving his church. As it says in 1 Peter 5:2, “Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them- not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be.” 

This is a proper expectation to have of a pastor. But it can create an invisible boundary line. And sometimes pastors are put up on a pedestal. While they take their responsibility seriously, the truth is pastors need others to pursue them, to take an interest in them. They need others to step over that invisible boundary line and get to know them.

It would be nice to be asked about your life, not just church (even though church feels like our life)…to hear positive things, not just negative… To be called by my name, not “this is my pastor’s wife”. I guess in general it would be nice to have others initiate conversation. I get tired of always “making the rounds”. Just talk to me… I don’t bite.

~a Pastor’s Wife


Way 9: One of the best ways to appreciate your pastor and his family is to get to know them. 


This is Day 9 of the series “31 Ways to Appreciate Your Pastor. If you are interested in reading all of the posts in the series, you can find all of the posts here. You can also sign up to have all posts sent directly to your inbox by subscribing (just enter your email address in the subscription box on the right hand side of the blog page).