When the Words Won’t Come

The words haven’t been coming lately. Even when I have a few moments to sit down with my computer and write, it just doesn’t happen. I have written approximately 322 blog posts in my head, but for some reason, the words won’t come out on the screen.

Part of this is due to the fact that I am tired. Weary really. I have grown weary of the blogging world, the try-hard-to-get-noticed aspect of it. I don’t want to build a platform. I don’t want to grow “my tribe”. I don’t want to worry about numbers.

I do want to pour into others and to be poured into in return. I want to invite a friend over for coffee and not worry about how that will affect “the schedule”. I want friends and family as well as acquaintances to know that I mean it when I say I’m not busy. I don’t want to be viewed as influential or not influential. I don’t want my “success”as a blogger to be determined by how others define me.

The opinions of others can become a siren call, but my heart longs for the freedom of pleasing Jesus only. I want my story to be written by the Author and Perfecter of my faith, not by critics or naysayers.

I’m tired of expecting others to reciprocate. I just want to write and not worry about who reads my words.

I started writing in this space because I felt compelled to do so. My heart has always longed for God’s glory, but along the way, I have grown distracted. I have been tempted to pursue my own ends.

I’m done with that.

But I’m not done with writing. And I hope you aren’t done with reading. Because I am a girl who thrives on relationship. I feel squashed by numbers and trying to earn attention. That drains me dry. But real, honest, genuine community? I’m all in.

I hope you are too. Because I kind of like you a lot.