A few days ago, I wrote a post about my miscarriage nineteen years ago.
Since writing that post, God has profoundly reminded me of his sweetness and his faithfulness in my life. I didn’t know that there would be a continuation to that blog post, but there is.
Because hope continues!
To explain this story, we have to go back to the day nineteen years ago that would end up being a pivotal day in my life. I went to work with the knowledge that I was about ten weeks pregnant. We had told our family and friends our news. Our baby was due in April and there was a secret delight in my heart. Because isn’t April the BEST month to have a baby?!! (that question reveals a little bit of my heart at that time!)
I was working in phone customer service at a bank in Chicago at the time and during a bathroom break, I noticed something concerning. I called my husband and he encouraged me to call my doctor. I was relieved when the doctor told me that it was likely not anything to be concerned about, but he encouraged me to come to the office anyway just to make sure.
On the way to my doctor’s office, we were listening to a Christian music radio station and the song “God is in Control” by Twila Paris came on the radio. Later I would look back on that moment as God preparing me for the news I was about to receive.
This is no time for fear
This is a time for faith and determination
Don’t lose the vision here
Carried away by the motion
Hold on to all that you hide in your heart
There is one thing that has always been true
It holds the world together
God is in control
We believe that His children will not be forsaken
God is in control
We will choose to remember and never be shaken
There is no power above or beside Him, we know
God is in control
The words from the bridge, “He has never let you down, why start to worry now?”, were the very first words that I thought of when my doctor came into the room with a tissue box. It was true. God had NEVER let me down. I had gone through difficulty, but he had always been faithful. Always. “We will choose to remember and never be shaken”. I realized in that moment that I had a choice to make. Either I was going to be consumed by the sorrow of losing my baby OR I was going to choose to remember God’s faithfulness and his promises to me.
I chose to trust.
After writing the “Hope” post last week, my husband and I spent some time in prayer and in tears. We are brokenhearted for the way the coronavirus is battering our world and shaking the faith of so many. And we are facing a personal struggle that threatens to shake us and pull us under the waves. And so we continue to run to the only place we know. Our Refuge and Strength. Our faithful God.
Later, I was scrolling through Facebook statuses and one of my longtime friends had posted a song that she had listened to with her boys that morning. I’m sure it comes as no surprise that the song was “God is in Control”. I started sobbing.
It was no mistake that this song came on the radio at the very moment I needed to hear the words all those years ago and it is the absolute sweetness of God that he would place that song on my friend’s heart on the very day I needed to be reminded of it.
It’s no mistake, because God truly is in control! It doesn’t mean that bad things won’t happen. It doesn’t mean that we won’t face loss and heartache. It doesn’t mean that our loved ones won’t die or that situations won’t go the way we think they should.
But it does mean that our lives are held by the Creator of the Universe, our great God and Father of all, our Sustainer and Protector. And when we know His faithfulness and His promise to never leave us or forsake us, we can walk forward in confidence, not in fear.
Hope continues in the most dire of circumstances. As my husband preached in his sermon this morning, these sufferings we face are for “a little while”. “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” 1 Peter 5:10
We might not see his restoration here in this life, but we have the promise of eternity when we trust in Him to be our salvation.
“For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that shall be revealed in us.” Romans 8:18
God is in control and because of this, hope continues!