Motherhood and Millions of Moments

Motherhood is in the millions of moments.  Moments that define us.  And shape us. 

It’s in the moments that we allow to define us that shouldn’t.

It is in the way our bodies swell and grow to house the most precious of things.  It is in the tears when that precious one is lost taking a bit of our trust and our hope with it.

It is found in that first flutter in our womb.  In the constant pressure against our ribs.  When we know that it is TIME and we rush to the hospital.

It is found in the relief of the first cry.  In the frustration of not being able to get out of bed, to take care of her for 24 hours.

It is found in that place where we learn to let go of the control that we so desperately want to have.  When we realize that those things are safely held by a Father who is worthy of our trust.

It is the anger when our two year old is labelled as aggressive.  It is in the decision to not allow labels to determine how you treat your child.  It is in the wisdom you gain from determining what voices to give weight to.

Motherhood is found in the moments that we can’t stop breathing in, but also in the moments that threaten to suffocate.

It is found in the ugliness that comes out when your child is bitten or hurt or bullied.  When the mama bear rears her ugly head and for all intents and purposes yells, “don’t mess with my baby!”.

It’s in the mortification when YOUR child is the one doing the bullying.

It’s in the feelings of guilt when this baby that you longed for and prayed for is driving you absolutely crazy.  And you don’t particularly like them.

It’s in the horror as you watch your two year old’s forehead swell to twice it’s normal size.  The agony as you count the hornet stings on your daughter’s arms- the daughter who is recovering from lymes disease.

It is found in the joyous moments- her first twirl on the stage, his eyes lighting up after he reads his first sentence, the excitement over a cardboard box.

It is in the sweet pleasure of handmade cards, eskimo kisses, snuggles on a snow day.

It’s in the millions of whispered, “Guess what? I love yous”.  In the bedtime hugs.  The secret hand squeezes.

It’s in the laughter while we dance around the kitchen.  Have tickle fights.  It’s in his comment while getting into the tub about his nipples- “Look at my apples!  Aren’t they cool?!!”

Motherhood is in learning the most important of lessons.  It is learning that our biggest job is not to teach, not to instruct, not to challenge.  Our biggest and most important job is to LIVE the lesson that we want them to learn.  To demonstrate through our lives how they should live.

We learn that we can’t expect our children to have integrity if we cheat others.

We can’t expect them to tell the truth, if they hear us lying to our friends.

When we compete with others or put others down to make ourselves feel better, can we really expect that they won’t bully others?

Motherhood is admitting our weaknesses and seeking to allow God to work in us and change us- conforming us to His image.  It is understanding that as our children see us change and grow, they will want that in their own lives.

It is understanding that memorizing a certain number of Bible verses is not nearly as important as having a heart that loves Jesus and pursues a relationship with Him.

And it is understanding how terrifying this is!  That we can’t control how they turn out.  It would be so much easier if we could…  If we KNEW that all they had to do was go to church every Sunday for 10 years, memorize 332 Bible verses, join the church.

But motherhood is found in the uncertainty, in knowing that we don’t control any of this.  But that we can and we should fall at the feet of Jesus.  Commit our children to Him.  Show them what it means to have a personal relationship with the creator of the universe.

It means devoting our own lives to knowing Christ.  Because the more that we know Him, the less we will grasp at control.  Our trust will increase.  Our humility will grow.

Motherhood is a journey, a process, an adventure.  As we travel, the signs begin to change.  The further along we go on this path, the more our prayers should change.  They change from “help them to be brave” to “be their strength”.  From “make them a leader of men” to “help them to follow you with all of their hearts”.  And “bless them with security” to “help them to say, ‘I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord’ .” (Philippians 3:8).

Motherhood is in the millions of moments…

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