What If I’m Not Supposed to be Amazing?

Remember the search for beauty trip that my kids and I took this weekend? This was one of the pictures that I took on that trip. It is a picture of the Erie Canal, taken from a single lane steel bridge. I made sure no one was coming, put my window down and snapped the picture without looking (my eyes were on the road!), while we rolled over the bridge and my daughter freaked out a bit in the back seat. Because apparently at 10, she has decided that she has a phobia of bridges.

The picture turned out slightly askew. It didn’t make the cut when I shared the pictures in a blog post.

And yet, I kind of love it! I love it, because it captures beauty without having to be perfect. There is no pretense in this picture. It just is what it is.

This picture leaves me pondering life as pictures so often seem to do. I feel like my life has been bombarded with messages lately. Messages of being awesome and amazing. Striving to be noticed. Having the perfect life. Being the best.

And it leaves me wondering, what if I’m not supposed to be amazing?

I mean really, how much room is there in the world for everyone to be the very best? Can everyone be awesome? And is it okay if I’m just pretty good? Is there room for a slightly askew me that points to beauty beyond myself?

Because that is who I want to be. I know myself well enough to know that I am far from perfect. I don’t excel at many things, but there are some things that I am pretty good at. Oh, they are not the things that anyone will stand up and applaud. They are just the normal things.

I can make my daughter belly laugh, just by tickling her neck with my nose.

I know how to make my kids feel like they are the most important things in my world.

I listen well when my husband shares his plans for sermons and Bible studies.

I am able to find joy in the difficult situations.

I am told that I give the best hugs.

My friendships run deep and wide. I have learned to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn.

I know how to celebrate and make any situation memorable.

But I don’t do any of these things because I am amazing.
I do all of these things because my God is AMAZING. 

When others look at my life, when they see the messiness and the slightly askew parts of me, I pray that they will see the beauty in it. I pray that they would see God at work in my life. And I pray that He would get the glory.

And in those moments when my life looks amazing and everything appears balanced and picture perfect, I pray that they would see God at work in my life. And I pray that He would get the glory.

Because I’m not amazing. But my God is.